


I'm (not) Okay

by Honestmouse



Series: My Chem One Shots/ Short Works [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Gerard Way, im mean to Frank in this, light ish angst, past abusive relationship, recovery from an abusive relationship, sad Frankie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 20:02:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17535305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honestmouse/pseuds/Honestmouse
Summary: Who knew something as simple as a broken plate could cause this?





	I'm (not) Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This work is based on a prompt I found on Pinterest and I just had to write this fic. There's nothing too graphic about the relationship Frank had before Gerard, but the fact that it was abusive is mentioned often. If that's something that may trigger you please don't continue, I don't want anyone to be hurt or sad because of what I wrote. Additionally, there is a panic attack in this fic, nothing extremely graphic but I want to mention it here because I know people don't often read tags.  
> This came out way more sad than I intended but I'm happy with what the fic turned into.  
> Final bit of commentary before I get into the actual story, I there will NOT be an update for my main fic, The Light Behind Your Eyes this week because I'm currently in a bit of a block. There will probably be a few oneshots that I post to try and get my writing juices flowing again for that fic.  
> That's all! Enjoy!

The sound of the plate hitting the floor and shattering into a million pieces echoed through the house. Frank stood there, unable to look away from the mess on the floor at his feet. Gerard, who had been in the other room cleaning up his paints heard the noise and practically ran into the other room.  
“Frankie, what was that? You alright?”  
Rounding the corner as he called out to his boyfriend, Gerard was met with a broken plate on the floor and completely still Frank. He was just standing there, tensed up and staring at the floor.  
Alarm bells went off in Gerard’s head as he stepped towards Frank and put a hand to his shoulder, careful not to step on the sharp pieces that littered the floor.  
Before he could ask his boyfriend again if he was alright, Frank flinched the moment Gerard’s hand made contact with him and he whispered a broken apology.  
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, it was an accident. It won’t happen again. Please.”  
He quickly looked up and Gerard saw the fear in his eyes; he was terrified. The tears that had been pooling in Franks eyes began to fall and he began to shake.  
Gerard’s heart broke into more pieces than the plate as he slowly realized what happened.  
Not many people knew this, but Frank’s ex-husband had been violent and abusive. Frank, understandably, didn’t like to talk about that time in his life much. Gerard knew the basics though.  
The piece of shit had verbally and physically abused Frank for years and still, nearly a year later, things like this seemed to take him right back into that situation.  
Since he knew now what was wrong, Gerard quickly tried to make the terrified man calm down.  
“Hey, Frankie, it’s just me,” Gerard said, moving his hands back beside him because he knows that touching isn’t going to help. He learned quickly that when Frank was having an attack over something like that physical contact would only make him worse.  
Instead, he focused on talking; soothing words and tones.  
“I’m not mad at you cause you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I love you.”  
The damn broke on Frank’s tears, they were now falling heavily down his cheeks.  
Seeing the man he loved so much be in that kind of pain was torture for Gerard. All he wanted to do was pull Frank into a fierce hug and chace away all of his demons with kisses.  
But he knew that that wasn’t the way to help him.  
“Frankie, I love you so much. I would never hurt you, ever. I love you so much that sometimes it makes my chest ache because I know that I will never be able to express how much you really mean to me. You are completely safe with me, and I will always protect you. I love you Frank, I always will.”  
Sometime during Gerard’s speaking, Frank had sunk down onto the floor. He had his knees pulled up close to his chest and his head tucked down on them. Gerard could still see his shaking, but it didn’t seem like he was crying anymore which was a good sign.  
“Frankie?” Gerard questioned as he too sat down onto the floor. They had been working on trying to get Frank used to comforting contact during an attack like this but Gerard was still shocked when the small man whispered his name.  
“Yes? Are you alright Frank?”  
“C’mere?” Frank spoke so quietly that Gerard barely heard him. When the recognition of what he’d said finally came in, Gerard was wrapping his arms around Frank in seconds.  
He held him for what felt like forever. Frank went through cycles of crying so hard he shook to simply leaning against Gerard, boneless and staring at the wall. After three or four cycles of this, Frank became still. His eyes were closed and Gerard could still see the tear tracks shining on his cheeks. Unconsciously he hugged the boy closer to his chest, hoping that all of the affection in his heart would seep into the other. Maybe then Frank would be able to heal.  
A few moments later and Gerard realized that Frank was asleep. Aside from the broken plate still untouched on the floor and the tears still on his face, Gerard could pretend that Frank was only sleeping. He could almost pretend that the boy hadn’t cried himself to sleep, terrified.  
Gerard wiped his own tears that kept falling against his efforts and gently lifted his boyfriend up. Frank only slightly fussed in his sleep and once Gerard was sure he was still out, he carried him down the hall to their room. Setting the smaller man onto their bed, and doubled checked him for any cuts from the plate pieces. Seeing no blood, Gerard tucked Frank into the covers and quietly left the room. 

Steeling himself, Gerard walked back to the kitchen to clean the mess up. The sight of such a mundane this as a broken plate still made the tears return to his eyes. Just the thought that Frank’s ex probably had beaten him over something similar made Gerard’s blood run cold. He honestly couldn’t understand how a person could be so cruel to someone else, especially when that person was Frank. He was so small and sweet, but also so passionate about the people and things he cared about. His smile managed to make Gerard’s heart nearly burst every time it was aimed his way.  
As he worked, Gerard realized that Frank really had come far in his recovery. When Gerard had met him, Frank didn’t speak much and hardly ever left his home. The only reason they’d gotten to know each other was because Gerard was working as a pizza delivery man late nights. When he’d first managed to make the timid boy smile it made Gerard’s whole day. All he’d been able to think about was Frank.  
Finally all of the tiny pieces were cleaned up and properly disposed of and Gerard made his way back up to Frank.  
When he opened the door, the younger man was still asleep and snoring quietly. Gerard smiled and decided he didn’t want Frank to wake up alone. So, he grabbed a book off of the shelf by their bed and sat down on the chair by the window to wait.  
About an hour later, Frank began to shift and by the time Gerard looked over he was met with two confused eyes looking at him.  
“Hey baby,” Gerard said, putting his book down and walking over to sit down on top of the covers.  
“How’re you feeling?”  
“‘M ok. Sorry for freaking out I-” Gerard cut him off quickly, determined to make sure Frank knew he was not upset.  
“Don’t apologize, I love you and I don’t mind taking care of you.”  
Frank smiled weakly and coughed quietly into his elbow as he sat up.  
“Need some water?”  
Frank nodded and Gerard stood to get some water from their connected bathroom.  
As he walked back in, Frank had wrapped the blanket around him like a cocoon.  
Smiling, Gerard asked,” Do you wanna order pizza and sit in bed for the rest of the evening and just watch Netflix?”  
Frank nodded and patted the spot beside him in invitation. Gerard happily obliged, he couldn’t imagine the day he didn’t cuddle up beside his boyfriend.  
“Gee?”  
“Hm?”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you to the moon and back.”  
“God you’re a nerd.”


End file.
